


Too Close For Comfort

by NekoAbi



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Break Up, Crying, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 06:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16887543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoAbi/pseuds/NekoAbi
Summary: Roman is processing a break up. He can’t seem to figure it out. Maybe some music would help him out.





	Too Close For Comfort

The door clicked shut. It was such a quiet sound, but at the moment, it was far too loud for Roman.

His face was passive, eyes glazed over. He blinked slowly. The world was moving too fast, yet also too slow. His mind was just blank as he looked for… something, he didn’t know what.

Eventually, he found himself laying on his bed, face up to the ceiling. His chest was aching, his body was heavy, his thoughts were far too loud while also too quiet.

He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it.

Why had Virgil just… left him, like that?

His hand dragged down his face, as he thought as much as he could. Thinking to the past, thinking about what he’d done.

Roman would admit he’d said some terrible things in the past, even while they’d finally gotten together. He freely admitted that and apologised in everyway he knew how. The thoughts swirled too much, Roman couldn’t focus on a single train of thought. His mind was full of the tearful eyes of Virgil as he spoke the words that would end them.

He tried his hardest to think harder, think about what could have possibly brought this on. He tried to notice any feelings that came as he reminisced.

But Roman felt numb. He couldn’t feel. Or maybe there were too many feelings. And he couldn’t focus on just one.

He sighed and reached over for his phone. He smiled grimly to himself as he scrolled through his music, “At least I have a playlist exactly for this situation…” He let out a short breathy laugh as he found his ‘Break Up’ playlist and started it up.

The phone dropped to his side on the mattress as the music began to come through the speakers on the other side of the room. Roman was happy to have left them as loud as they could go. He wanted to be surrounded by the words, the emotions of the songs. He closed his eyes and listened, hoping it would lead to the answers he was searching for.

Thoughts and memories drifted and flew all through his head. The happy times, the sad times. The beautiful, and the ugly. The worst, and the best.

He drifted between song to song, forgetting time existed. Roman didn’t move. Soon, he finally caught the beginning of a song and found himself singing under his breath along.

Where Roman had found this song, he couldn’t remember. All he knew at this moment was that he felt the lyrics deep in his heart. Somehow, the touched all the right memories, all the right words.

_I never meant the things I said_  
_To make you cry_  
_Can I say I’m sorry_

_It’s hard to forget_  
_And yes I regret_  
_All these mistakes_

_I don’t know why you’re leaving Me_  
_But I know you must have your reasons_  
_There’s tears in your eyes_  
_I watch as you cry_  
_But it’s getting late_

He began to get louder with each passing word, still laying on his back. The chorus kicked in, and he sang louder…

_Was I invading in on your secrets_  
_Was I too close for comfort_  
_You’re pushing me out_  
_When I’m wanting in_  
_What was I just about to discover_  
_When I got too close for comfort_  
_Driving you home_  
_Guess I’ll never know_

Roman thought as he sang.

Maybe that was it.

Maybe he’d just gotten too close.

Maybe Virgil had just gotten scared.

Maybe.

But that’s all it could be.

Maybes and what ifs.

The last line made the grim smile return to his face.

They were right.

He wouldn’t ever know.

He went back to singing under his breath again, eyes remaining closed as he visualised.

_Remember when we scratched our names into the sand_  
_And told me you loved me_  
_But now that I find_  
_That you’ve changed your mind_  
_I’m lost for words_

Roman couldn’t help his short laugh. It felt devoid of any real emotion, more just a physical response. It felt bitter in his mouth as it left.

It did leave him lost for words.

He thought back to earlier that day.

He’d been unable to speak.

Just standing there, staring at Virgil as he spoke.

Unable to formulate even the simplest of responses.

Shock.

_And everything I feel for you_  
_I wrote down on one piece of paper_  
_The one in your hand_  
_You won’t understand_  
_How much it hurts to let you go_

He couldn’t help it now.

It did hurt.

It burnt and ached and stabbed through him in every part of his body.

The pain only fuelled the sudden anger that washed over him as the chorus rolled around again.

He got louder. Still unmoving. Eyes shut tight.

_Was I invading in on your secrets_  
_Was I too close for comfort_  
_You’re pushing me out_  
_When I’m wanting in_  
_What was I just about to discover_  
_I got too close for comfort_  
_Driving you home_  
_Guess I’ll never know_

Roman stayed loud. In fact, he got louder.

_All this time you’ve been telling me lies_  
_Hidden in bags that are under your eyes_  
_And when I asked you I knew I was right_

_But if you turn your back on me now_  
_When I need you most_  
_But you just let me down, down, down_

He almost felt like he was pleading to the other.

It was almost like Roman could feel Virgil’s presence.

Even as he knew he wasn’t around anymore.

He wouldn’t be around anymore.

The anger was simmering down, the flame was dying inside him, but he powered through.

Would you think about what you’re about to do to me  
And back down

The anger had slipped past his lips. It was gone.

The calm returned.

No.

This was now hopelessness.

He felt… sad.

Here it was.

Never one to stop halfway through a song, Roman continued.

_Was I invading in on your secrets_  
_Was I too close for comfort_  
_You’re pushing me out_  
_When I’m wanting in_  
_What was I just about to discover_  
_I got too close for comfort_  
_You’re pushing me out_  
_When I’m wanting in_  
_(Yeah yeah yeah)_

_What was I just about to discover_  
_When I got too close for comfort_  
_Driving you home_  
_I guess I’ll never know_

Roman felt as though his body was so empty. His stomach ached as though it were empty yet felt so heavy as the song switched over to another.

His eyes slowly opened. It was then he noticed the haze that had overcome his vision.

He felt the itch down the sides of his head, running from his eyes and down to his ears.

They felt wet.

He hadn’t realised the silent tears that’d come from him.

It was almost as though they were from a stranger.

More tears ran the tracks laid before them.

His body was still.

His mind racing.

He still couldn’t believe it.

**Author's Note:**

> The song used is called [Too Close For Comfort](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGYUziHZgys) by McFly, would really recommended listening to it!


End file.
